Everyday Tapping: Watch Your Language!!
(I didn’t mean to say that!)
Click here to watch the video!
Have you ever gotten excited in conversation and accidentally let a curse word fly out of your mouth – at the wrong time, and maybe in front of the wrong people? Maybe you were in the middle of a conversation, having a great time, and something just slipped out. You didn’t mean to… it just happened…
That has to be one of the most embarrassing things ever! You apologize. You backpedal. You apologize again. But the deed is done, and you can be left looking like a butthead.
It happened to me just recently. I was having dinner with a friend and her “tween” aged daughter. They are devout in their religion and very strict about cursing. After hearing my friend recount a particularly amazing story, I exclaimed, “Damn…!” Their faces fell for a second and I knew I had crossed a line.
They did not say anything, but I could tell that I had made everyone uncomfortable for a moment. That’s not the kind of impression I want to leave on anyone, especially a young girl.
Let’s just face it, curse words can be fun!
Most people use them from time to time. They can prove a point. They can act as the ultimate punctuation.
But even now, curse words alarm some people. I am sometimes alarmed by who it does not alarm! I am very good about censoring my language. Especially around children. I usually censor my language at the last minute and say “heck”, “dang”, or “fiddle”. Most parents think I am being overly careful. “Oh don’t worry about it. They have heard it all before.”
I think that makes people more relaxed about letting things slip at inappropriate times. It’s one thing to accidentally curse in front of the child. They will eventually hear the bad words – it’s a matter of time.
It is completely different when you accidentally curse in front of someone who will truly be offended by your language. Your colorful language can negatively color their opinion of you.
Here I’m talking about prospective employers, clients, and people from another generation for whom cursing was truly an inappropriate expression – and always will be. It is not gentlemanly. It is not ladylike. People from other generations may consider it low class.
Whether or not you can use curse words for effective communication depends on your audience.
My mom was very skilled in her ability to wield curse words with grand effect. She was very ladylike, old-school, and proper. She never, ever used curse words. I may have heard them come out of her mouth five times – ever! But when they did, you knew she meant business!
When mom cursed, you knew something big was going to happen. You knew she was mad!
If you are anything like me, you sometimes use curse words as a sort of punctuation. They have a way of really getting your point across expressively. They have a place in your vocabulary.
You can learn to control your vocabulary so they become a useful part of your repertoire to be used appropriately in front of the correct audience.
The key is to use the appropriate word, with the appropriate audience, at the appropriate time and place to get the most bang for your buck communication-wise. If you plan to use these words, make them count.
The first thing that you can do to take control of your vocabulary and make it work for you is to set an intention about how you want to convey your ideas to other people. Once you have that intention, you can use tapping to really ingrain it into your mind and behavior.
Here is a tapping protocol that you can use to begin calibrating your vocabulary so that you get the most out of your communication with other people.
Let Tapping Help You to Watch Your Language!
Click here to watch the video!
Start by thinking of the last time you let a four letter word slip at the wrong moment. You can also think of an upcoming event that calls for you to take particular care not to slip up. Imagine it in your mind as vividly as possible.
Tap this protocol out loud.
On your Karate Chop (KC) Point:
Even though I sometimes curse, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though my vocabulary can be colorful, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though sometimes I speak before I think, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Top of your head (TH): I like to use curse words sometimes.
Eye Brow (EB): I have a knack for using the right words to describe the moment.
Outside of the Eye (OE): Sometimes profanity fits the moment.
Under Eye (UE): It’s usually not a problem.
Under Nose (UN): But there have been times when a word just slipped out of my mouth.
Chin (CH): And it was embarrassing – to me and for my audience.
Collarbone (CB): It was inappropriate.
KC: It just happened.
TH: There was no way for me to really excuse it.
EB: When it happened, I felt like an ass. (Lol. See what I did there?)
OE: It made me look bad.
UE: It made me feel like a screw-up.
UN: I should know better.
CH: I should take more care.
CB: What if I accidently let one slip?
KC: What if I slip up and say @%*&!?
TH: That could ruin my rapport.
EB: It could offend people or make them nervous.
OE: It might end the conversation.
UE: I want people to feel comfortable around me.
UN: I want to communicate effectively.
CH: I know that I can choose my words to suit the situation.
CB: Sometimes it’s ok – even appropriate – to use curse words.
KC: I choose to instruct my brain to easily calibrate my vocabulary to the situation.
TH: That way I will naturally pay more attention when I need to.
EB: I will easily catch myself before I slip up.
OE: I choose to pay attention to the words other people are using in conversation.
UE: I choose to listen and withhold colorful words until they use them first.
UN: If they never use them, I won’t either.
CH: If they do, I can be more expressive in my language if it’s useful.
CB: I am a great communicator.
KC: I choose to craft my conversations with care.
Take a deep breath.
Try tapping through this a few times. Pay attention to how it helps you to watch your language. You can even adapt this sequence to more closely suit your situation.
If you have deeper issues with cursing, give me a call! We will get together and work on it.