Everyday Tapping: Remembering Names
Have you ever forgotten someone’s name
immediately after you were introduced?
Forgetting names can be incredibly embarrassing AND wreck your rapport. It can also keep you from participating in the conversation because you may be too busy trying to find a way to get their name again.
You might chalk it up to being “bad with names” but that can only be true if you allow it to be. You DO remember some names!
Want to know how powerful remembering names can be?
Click here to check out the video!
I grew up in the fine state of Louisiana – the home of good food and legendary politics. One of the greatest political legends of all time was Governor Edwin Edwards. Some people loved him, others sent him to jail (he earned it!).
For all of his corrupt activity, people continue to love him. He could probably still win an election today.
One of his special talents is remembering names. It makes people feel important and helped him to create legions of adoring constituents. It also went a long way toward his enduring popularity. I mean, he was governor for four terms (1972–1980, 1984–1988 and 1992–1996)! That’s 16 years in office!
I once heard a man talk about briefly meeting Gov. Edwards on a helicopter pad and then seeing him again almost a decade later. The gentleman was amazed that the Governor not only remembered him by name, but also asked about his wife and children – by name. Needless to say, the man felt very important, very memorable, and very special.
Make remembering names “your thing” and watch your social world light up!
You have my attention…
One of the keys to remembering names is to hear it clearly in the first place. That means paying attention to the person to whom you are being introduced. Look them in the eye and repeat their name back to them. If you don’t hear it clearly, ask them to repeat it. Don’t move on until you have their name down pat.
Say it out out loud!
Recent research shows that repeating new information out loud will help you to remember it. This is an easy way to reinforce recall of a new name. The added benefit is that people LOVE to hear the sound of their name. Be subtle about working it into conversation. The more you do it, the easier it will be to remember their name. They will probably like you more, too!
Try to make an association with their name that has meaning for you. Maybe they have the same name as a favorite relative or beloved friend – maybe even a celebrity. You can also try linking their name to an important feature.
For example, imagine you meet your friend’s new girlfriend, Marie. Marie is important because ____ (she is dating your friend) (she has red hair) (she is from California). Just make the link and repeat the phrase in your head a few times.
Think you are still “bad at names?”
Think again. Labeling yourself as deficient in name recall can become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
And let’s be real…when the person is important and they have your full attention, you can easily remember their name. So you CAN remember names but the habit of paying half attention or being distracted gets in the way.
For perspective, instead of declaring that you are “bad with names,” recognize that you “remember names selectively.”
Tap into change
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The following tapping protocol will help you to shake the habit of forgetting names and put you on track toward being “good with names.”
Start by thinking of the last time you met someone new and forgot their name instantly. You can also think of a time in the future in which you will likely meet lots of new people. Imagine it in your mind as vividly as possible.
Tap this protocol out loud.
On your Karate Chop (KC) Point:
Even though I am bad with names, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I forget people’s names instantly, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I’m so embarrassed by my bad memory for names, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Top of your head (TH): I am bad with names.
Eye Brow (EB): I forget them almost as soon as I hear them.
Outside of the Eye (OE): It’s embarrassing!
Under Eye (UE): And I hate asking them more than once.
Under Nose (UN): I am SO bad with names!
Chin (CH): I know how special it makes me feel when someone remembers my name.
Collarbone (CB): So I want to remember names.
KC: But sometimes I get distracted.
TH: Maybe there are too many things going on around me.
EB: Maybe I’ve met several other people before them.
OE: Maybe my working memory is already full.
UE: I wish I could remember names.
UN: I would feel so good about myself.
CH: I would make a better impression on people.
CB: They would likely remember me because I made them feel special.
KC: I wonder what my social life would be like if I easily remembered names…
TH: I wonder how my career would benefit if I remembered names…
EB: I bet I’d see improvement all around.
OE: And the truth is,
UE: I sometimes do remember names.
UN: When it’s a small group and less pressure.
CH: When it’s someone really important.
CB: When I have heard the name but not yet met the person.
KC: When it’s someone who can further my interests…
TH: I remember names when they are important.
EB: But sometimes I can’t predict who is important!
OE: I never know who will become a great contact.
UE: Or who will become a great friend.
UN: Or who will become a perfect client.
CH: Or who might open doors for me…
CB: I choose to give everyone I meet my full attention.
KC: I choose to look at them and focus on them like a laser beam.
TH: I choose to save a special place in my working memory for new names.
EB: I choose to repeat their name back to them.
OE: And I will link every new name I hear to something significant to me.
UE: Because they may become significant to me.
UN: No matter my mood.
CH: No matter distractions.
CB: I choose to begin consciously and enthusiastically remembering names.
KC: I choose to show people that they are important to me. (because they might be!)
Take a deep breath.
VERY few people are born with the special gift of consistently remembering names. It is a learned skill that you can learn, too. Practice remembering names – and getting out there socially to do it – so that it becomes second nature to you. Your network will grow along with your new found skill!
Do you know someone who “always forgets names?” If so, please send them a link to this blog post. If you feel like you could use more help in this department, contact me and we’ll get you back on track.